Tanger Outlets with Mom

I had the most amazingly middle-America day today with my mother. We went to the Tanger Outlets (formerly Jeffersonville near King's Island). That place is so depressing. The new sign doesn't even match the colors on the buildings anymore, so you just know you're not going anywhere nice before you even pull in. I told mom I felt like I was on vacation because I kept seeing teenage boys in camo hats and t-shirts with the sleeves cut off like you see at gas stations on the way to the beach. Her response: "They's country folk." This she's allowed to say because she's from Kentucky.

 This was my name at Old Navy in the dressing rooms. I heard my mom tell the girl her name and then a pause... "Weeeeeezy?! Okay..."

The world's ugliest jacket at Coldwater Creek. It looks like someone chopped up the weird smelling chair in the corner of a cheap motel room. My mom forced me to go in and then I forced her to leave when she showed me the pleated (seriously... PLEATED?) pants she was considering buying.

Kind of the worst name ever for an outlet store. They might as well have called it "Cheap Broken and/or Misshapen Crap Mart."

This purse was at Kate Spade. I'm sure it costs more than I make in a week, but I love stuff that looks like it's made of other stuff. It looks crafty, but it's not!

After our depressing romp on the island of misfit toys, we played preteens and went to see the Glee concert movie. My mom sat down without her glasses on and said, "Whoa, double vision." Never having seen a 3D movie, she actually thought there was something wrong with her. We were the only ones in the theater until, about halfway through, an elderly couple came in and we had to stop loudly talking through it. I hope you're missing all of these exciting things there are to do in Ohio.