Corn Maze and David Sedaris

I felt how ridiculous my life is when I typed that title...
Anyway, Matt invited me to dinner and a corn maze in Gahanna with his people.

He picked me up from Easton, so of course we went on a hunt for the perfect dark gray coat that doesn't exist. He made me go into Abercrombie, where I had never been before and would happily have avoided for the rest of my life. First issue there: I seriously felt like I was choking on the smell in there. And it lingered on my jacket for about 20 minutes after we left. Second issue: I can't help but be embarrassing, so I walked around marveling at my surrounding as if I were on a safari. I managed to snap this picture while Matt wasn't looking. The mancessory display of ribbony, leathery bro bracelets... behind glass like diamonds or something. I just didn't understand it there.

Then it was on to Los Jalapenos, a Mexican restaurant in Gahanna, because authentic Mexican food always hides in the suburbs. The decor in this place was hard freaking core. I wasn't sure what to expect when the first door we walked through looked like it was stolen it from a cheap model home, but I was pleasantly surprised by the tasteful scenes of authentic Mexican life painted on the backs of all the booths, the tops of all the tables, and on all of the chairs. I got vegetarian enchiladas and realized after eating the first of 3 that they were not, in fact, all filled with cheese, but one had guacamole filling, the other spinach. Food that you have to plan out before eating is just out of my league.

Then we drove way out Morse Rd past Gahanna school district and into the creepy boonies of Ohio to the corn maze. There was a terrifying port-a-potty moment, some naive discussion of winning colorful suckers for collecting all the clues within, and we were off. This was he view pretty much the whole way through. I don't think I ever actually looked at a map, so I did a lot of following and a lot of scooching myself out of the leading position. The big argument among group leadership throughout the maze was whether or not it was a good idea to take a right at every turn until we made it through. We ended up getting 3 out of 8 clues and asking a teenage maze employee how to get out. I almost died about ten times slipping in muddy patches and thunking my foot in holes, but I felt satisfied that I had done something autumnal.

Okay so I followed that hillbilly moment by seeing David Sedaris at the Palace Theater. I realized when we got there that I had only ever been to the Ohio Theater, which somehow in my mind counted as both. I took this picture of the outer sitting room from the inner sitting room leading to the bathroom. Pretty swanky. Their bathroom is bigger than my apartment. I sighed a few times in  there.

I really wish you could see this better. I'm sure you've been there before, but I was really excited by the fire place. There were two light bulbs under a gold grate with big amber rocks on top. At what point in history was this a realistic fake fire? Okay, ran out of steam and my nephew is yelling (joyful yelling, so it's cute).